Sobriety takes courage and endless patience. Early on, triggers seem to pop up out of nowhere and lurk in every corner. When the brain has been through so much, it takes a long time to settle into a new rhythm of life following detox and rehab. In those moments when the adjustment feels too difficult, other women who understand what the experience is like can be a lifeline. Sadness and loneliness can foster isolation when times are hard, but the community is there to offer support and lend the courage needed to keep moving forward. Standing together is often the best antidote to the changing world as a sober woman.
What is Sisterhood
Women are built for connection. They can be highly emotional, thoughtful, and are quite often the caretakers for children, relatives, and friends in their lives. While a deep sense of longing for connection to others is a human trait, women tend to go further in relationships with friends, especially when bonding over similarities. Women supporting women is a precious resource they have to spend time with one another sharing thoughts, feelings, and deeper connections through shared struggle. It is important for people in recovery to connect, especially women, with others that walk a similar path. Although it may feel difficult at first to find other women who share the journey, in time and with the openness it will happen.
Getting Past Technology
Technology brings lots of wonderful and amazing experiences in people’s lives, however, people in recovery need face-to-face interaction and connection with others. This helps not only in recovery support groups but also takes away the fear, shame, and isolation that can appear during recovery. With a deeper need for connection, women need to use more than technology, which focuses on staying connected at arm’s length, and begin to form direct bonds with other women. This means in-person, real-time connection. It is critical women in recovery take some time to pursue connections outside of time spent online.
Benefits of a Solid Sisterhood
Women gain a lot from being connected to other sober sisters, such as comfort and reassurance. Sharing experiences, stories, thoughts, and dreams is important, and it’s the most beneficial when doing so with others that understand the unique viewpoint of someone in recovery. Other women in recovery can listen in ways others can’t when they have been down a similar road before. When older women mentor younger women, there is often a hidden benefit to it. To show up without judgment or fear of what others might think helps ease shame some experience due to past trauma. Other benefits might include:
- Sober friends to go out with and pursue hobbies
- People to travel with on sober vacations
- People who understand deeper parts of your story nobody else does
- People who listen well and don’t try to fix things
- Being there when times are tough but it is hard to tell anyone else (triggers, cravings, desires to go back to old ways)
Everyone needs a vast network of people who will be there for them when times are tough. Sharing hobbies, careers, and other things can bond women together for the journey. When a crisis hits in life it can trigger old thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Triggers and cravings for substances can come out of these crisis moments. When other women are there to surround their friends with love, care, compassion, and support, they can walk through situations with them and offer a shoulder to cry on. It does not guarantee a safeguard against relapse, but it greatly lowers the risk when other people are there for support.
To step into sober sisterhood is to step out in courageous faith. There is no guarantee that people who are met along the journey will become close, intimate friends. However, sharing a common bond over this experience can bring a sense of peace and hope. The vulnerability in sharing those intimate, deep parts of a woman’s recovery journey creates the comfort and connection many crave. It is not easy when friends test boundaries, push buttons or even betray trust. Being in a closely held relationship with others is never easy. However, with solidarity and fortitude, women can tackle the demands of work, raising children, and maintaining recovery with the love of sisters who understand. To find some of those support people, it helps to:
- Find a regular community support group to attend
- Do inner work of recovery in therapy
- Find yoga or meditation groups that meet to pursue community
- Find leisure activities that are fun to join
- Step out in faith to try new things
Recovery is not easy but with hard work and persistence, it is possible. With support and friends, women have been courageously pursuing sobriety and a substance-free lifestyle for a long time. They have built strong bonds and taken the best next steps for their journey by embracing a sisterhood that will be there for them when times are tough for the long road ahead.
Casa Capri is designed for women who are struggling with addiction to find hope and a purpose. Our holistic approach focuses on helping women find the inner strength to keep moving forward in recovery. We help you build bonds of sisterhood in rehab and beyond. If you want to connect with other women who are experiencing addiction recovery, call us: 844-593-8020
Melissa Holmes Goodmon is the founder and CEO of Casa Capri Recovery, a leading California addiction treatment center created just for women—by women. Melissa is a licensed clinician and has stayed on the cutting edge of women’s treatment since 2006. Because of her own beautiful recovery story, she is proud to be among a small group of trailblazers since founding Casa Capri Recovery for Women in 2011, leading the way for other women to join them in this otherwise male-dominated industry. She is considered an advocate for the recovery community in the truest sense, standing up to discrimination and legally fighting for the rights of sober people in recovery to live in peace. To learn more about advocacy or if you’ve experienced discrimination, you can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org. Check out casacaprirecovery.com for more information on our program, or please give us a call at 844-207-4880.