Finding a long-lasting friend in sobriety is tough. The first few months, even years, of recovery are hard for people. For women, especially, it can be hard to trust. Perhaps there is past trauma, abuse, and pain that keep them from wanting to trust others. It is easy to put ‘meeting new people’ on the backburner. Everyone gets caught up in routines and making trips to the gym or going out with the family and making those recovery meetings. But building lasting friendships should not be last on the list. Find ways to build relationships that are meaningful, healthy, and bring joy for years to come.
Be a Co-Worker
The hottest thing out there right now are co-working spaces. For people who work from home, do side work, or just want to get out of the house often find a co-working space user-friendly. There are also other people doing the same thing. Coworking spaces offer membership perks, events, communities, and ways to meet other people. There are spaces for men and women but also female-centric spaces. Locations vary and sometimes they are in bigger cities, but if that does not work, then try out a local coffee shop or co-working event at the library. Sometimes this is a great way to get connected to what’s happening. This atypical way of meeting people forces individuals outside their comfort zone to try new things in sober environments. Although it might feel uncomfortable at first, it will get easier the more a person tries new things.
Be a Non-Alcoholic Participant
It is hard giving up alcohol and not drinking anymore. It means changing where you hang out, who you hang out with, and what you do when you hang out. There are things to do when you are sober you maybe never thought about. Local museums, places like art galleries, and other spaces offer cultural events. Check those out and learn more about the places you live in. Be a tourist of your own town. You might be surprised at what you find, even if your town is small. If you want to visit a big city, check it out. Go to a space that offers you opportunities to go and be out with others in a non-alcoholic environment like a poetry reading or open mic night for people in recovery. Don’t be afraid to jump into having fun sober.
Friendships come in many shapes and sizes. Some of your favorite friends might be from a different generation. Even if they are, it is good to make inter-generational friendships. You can learn a lot from people who are older than you. You don’t have to join a volunteer club to give up your time. You can serve in soup kitchens, churches, places of worship, community organizations, and more. These spaces help you navigate your way back to find what you love by dedicating time to others in need. The key is to find a good fit. Think about some hobbies or interesting things that might be fun to explore. Look into ways to try some things that help create space for new friendships to emerge.
Not everyone loves to read, but if you are one of those people, maybe you want to join a book club. A good way to laugh, tell stories, and get into a good book is always fun but invites people into your new life. Maybe you want to meet people who are intellectual and join a book club to learn about history or something academic. If you want to do an online book club, there are plenty of those, too. If you love being offline, then look at the local library for events that promote reading different genres of literature. Storytelling events pop up all the time where they encourage reading, poetry, and story. Find some unique spaces to meet people in the literary scene for a change of pace.
Find a Mentor
Some of the best lasting relationships start with mentoring. Maybe it is an older mother who can help you weather the storm of being in recovery as a young mom. Perhaps you are in a season of doing something else with your journey and want to find your way back to life again. Mentors are people who are going to help you, be there for you, and support your journey. If you are struggling with where you are right now, don’t hesitate to reach out and ask for help. Mentors are a great way to help you build a friendship together or even suggest ways you can look to meet new people you can trust and build bonds with.
If you love to work out, there are places to go that help you meet others who love what you love. Maybe find a niche gym or space where you can go that you love working out and doing the activity likes rock climbing, ropes courses, or other similar activities. Pick a few things to try and stick with what seems to be working. Meeting people is hard as you get older, and even harder when you are sober. The key is to try new things, get out there, and engage with people. This will help you feel like you are meeting people from different walks of life and maybe something will stick.
Casa Capri is designed for women who are struggling with addiction to find hope and a purpose. Our holistic treatment model is based on building friendships and relationships that last throughout recovery. If you are struggling with sobriety, call Casa Capri today: 844-593-8020
Melissa Holmes Goodmon is the founder and CEO of Casa Capri Recovery, a leading California addiction treatment center created just for women—by women. Melissa is a licensed clinician and has stayed on the cutting edge of women’s treatment since 2006. Because of her own beautiful recovery story, she is proud to be among a small group of trailblazers since founding Casa Capri Recovery for Women in 2011, leading the way for other women to join them in this otherwise male-dominated industry. She is considered an advocate for the recovery community in the truest sense, standing up to discrimination and legally fighting for the rights of sober people in recovery to live in peace. To learn more about advocacy or if you’ve experienced discrimination, you can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org. Check out casacaprirecovery.com for more information on our program, or please give us a call at 844-207-4880.